Once There Was A Way

     Sometimes when I wake up I just lie still and think about things. This morning I pondered about things I had been reading and my life. This Beatles song came into my head, once there was a way to get back home, once there was a way to get back home.
     Home was a safe place, it was something you could be sure of, well for some. I have been reading essays, Notes Of A Native Son by James Baldwin and The Joys Of Reading and Writing, Superman and Me by Sherman Alexie, two very different perspectives of home. It is interesting to note that both of these boys were from minorities, both from poor families, but each of them had a very different childhood.
     Alexie had a very strong connection to his father, his father loved books, he filled their home with books. Alexie learned to love the written word because he loved his father so.
    Baldwin's childhood was much sadder. His father was distant, colder, bitter and he was in fear of what he might do to upset his father. Yet, as his essay progresses there were glimpses of the humanity of his father, remembrances of the times his father was not so distant. But still and all the distance outweighed those moments.
   I wondered, does one ever get over the abusiveness. Is there ever a way to get back home, when home was a good place where you felt safe.  My childhood was relatively carefree and good. Adulthood became a challenge, a place where I learned home might not be so good. I ponder these things in my mind,  I don't know if anyone can understand unless they have been in that place.
     My greatest hope in this world is that I could make a difference in someone else's life, for even a brief moment. To appreciate others in my actions and words. In little ways, something as simple as smiling or helping a person when they need it. I have a co-worker who is crippled and it gives me the greatest joy to help her, to wait on her. we usually take our breaks at the same time and it is my privilege to warm her supper up for her and serve it to her. It's those little things in life that make me feel like there is a way to get back home.