I contemplated this in the dark hours of the pre-dawn light this morning. I began to think about a meme Iman had posted the day before her husband, David Bowie, died. It said, You will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory. How well those who have lost loved ones know this. I thought of my sister who passed away in 2014. I thought of all those moments I spent with her that are now memories in my mind. Memories will never be the same as being with your loved one but they do hold some comfort.
In this age of cyber space we tend to place more value on technology than those moments that become memories. Not that cyber space cannot create some wonderful connections, because it can, but it can never compare to the experience of real life. You cannot physically touch the person you love through cyber space. While you can get to know another person intimately in cyber space it is a much different experience meeting that person in real life. The cyber relationship could be compared to the days of old when couples wrote letters pouring their hearts out to each other. While those letters took time to reach the other person, cyber is instantaneous.
This is my story. A little over three years ago I met a man online. We began to chat, pretty much on a daily basis. It felt right and natural to talk to this man. He was my best friend, my confidant. I began to look forward to talking to him, sometimes I felt like I did a lot of the talking, but he shared his heart too and it is important to listen to a person when they share.
The time flew by every time we chatted and before I knew it three years had flown by. I made plans to go and meet him. It was a big step for me and I was scared. Not only was I going to meet someone I had only talked to online, but I was going to another country. I boarded the plane and flew the first leg of my journey, to Dubai. It took approximately 12 hours to get there. We had a few hour layover before my next plane would take off. The first thing I did was go to the bathroom. I opened a door and there was only a hole in the floor, my first thought was, where the hell is the toilet. It was a neat hole, with a cut stainless steel piece cut to fit it, but I really wanted to sit on a toilet. Well, there were toilets in some of the other stalls and it was a relief. I tried my best to wash up in that restroom, but let me tell you, I smelled, I needed a shower. I am the kind of person that takes a shower every day . I did the best I could, but the best was not good enough.
The next leg of my journey was between four and five hours. When I arrived in the Bengaluru airport I was told by a worker there to go get in a line and wait my turn. I did, I stood in that line for half to three quarters of an hour. When I reached the front I was told I was in the wrong line and told to go to another line, which took approximately a half hour or more. Two hours after landing I emerged from the airport. The man I had been talking to for over three years stood outside. It seemed very strange to see him in person, like a picture that was now in 3D. My first thought was to tell him if he did not find me attractive that he was under no obligation to be with me. I needed him to know that.
But even though it seemed weird to see him in person, it also felt right to be with him. I already knew his heart, because he had shared it with me. Through the entire week it seemed like the natural thing, being with him. It was even better in real life than I ever expected or hoped for, he turned out to be more wonderful than I ever could have dreamed or hoped for. Leaving him was one of the hardest things I have ever done, I miss his physical presence, it is not quite the same when we chat now because my heart longs to be with him in person, not just online.
Do we ever know the value of a moment? I have memories, but those memories make me long for more. I loved every moment I spent there. My most favorite day was doing my laundry at his place. He has a small washer and he helped me by washing my laundry. I hung it on the railing of the balcony outside his apartment. After I had hung it all out I stood on that balcony and looked out at the street. I realized I like his country as much as I love him. I saw so many things while I was there, the people really serve others and they do so with a wonderful attitude. The traffic can be crazy, and cars drive randomly, but when they turn around or cut into traffic it is not done with a pissed off attitude, but more as a matter of fact attitude that they need to get where they are going. There are vehicles they call rickshaws, motorized little open cars, they serve as informal taxis. One of the things I saw, that I absolutely loved, was sometimes these rickshaw drivers would park their rickshaws and just socialize with one another. There is a lot of socializing done there, informally, out on the street. I like that. The one thing that was hard for me was the poverty. One day while in a taxi we had slowed down to a stop, there was am elderly man with half of one of his legs gone. He was standing there, with a crutch, begging. As I write this I can feel those emotions I felt when I saw that beggar, tears in my eyes. Somehow it seems so wrong in this world, that people live in wealth when there is suffering for those who do not even have their basic needs met. I wish with all my heart I could make everyone's world good and right, and alleviate their suffering.
My most cherished memories are the moments I spent with him. Listening to and singing music, dancing together, cooking for him. The things I cannot get over is how he served me, not what, but how. I have never had that before. Will there be more moments that become memories, I don't know, I just know those are tucked away in my heart and I cherish them.
In this age of cyber space we tend to place more value on technology than those moments that become memories. Not that cyber space cannot create some wonderful connections, because it can, but it can never compare to the experience of real life. You cannot physically touch the person you love through cyber space. While you can get to know another person intimately in cyber space it is a much different experience meeting that person in real life. The cyber relationship could be compared to the days of old when couples wrote letters pouring their hearts out to each other. While those letters took time to reach the other person, cyber is instantaneous.
This is my story. A little over three years ago I met a man online. We began to chat, pretty much on a daily basis. It felt right and natural to talk to this man. He was my best friend, my confidant. I began to look forward to talking to him, sometimes I felt like I did a lot of the talking, but he shared his heart too and it is important to listen to a person when they share.
The time flew by every time we chatted and before I knew it three years had flown by. I made plans to go and meet him. It was a big step for me and I was scared. Not only was I going to meet someone I had only talked to online, but I was going to another country. I boarded the plane and flew the first leg of my journey, to Dubai. It took approximately 12 hours to get there. We had a few hour layover before my next plane would take off. The first thing I did was go to the bathroom. I opened a door and there was only a hole in the floor, my first thought was, where the hell is the toilet. It was a neat hole, with a cut stainless steel piece cut to fit it, but I really wanted to sit on a toilet. Well, there were toilets in some of the other stalls and it was a relief. I tried my best to wash up in that restroom, but let me tell you, I smelled, I needed a shower. I am the kind of person that takes a shower every day . I did the best I could, but the best was not good enough.
The next leg of my journey was between four and five hours. When I arrived in the Bengaluru airport I was told by a worker there to go get in a line and wait my turn. I did, I stood in that line for half to three quarters of an hour. When I reached the front I was told I was in the wrong line and told to go to another line, which took approximately a half hour or more. Two hours after landing I emerged from the airport. The man I had been talking to for over three years stood outside. It seemed very strange to see him in person, like a picture that was now in 3D. My first thought was to tell him if he did not find me attractive that he was under no obligation to be with me. I needed him to know that.
But even though it seemed weird to see him in person, it also felt right to be with him. I already knew his heart, because he had shared it with me. Through the entire week it seemed like the natural thing, being with him. It was even better in real life than I ever expected or hoped for, he turned out to be more wonderful than I ever could have dreamed or hoped for. Leaving him was one of the hardest things I have ever done, I miss his physical presence, it is not quite the same when we chat now because my heart longs to be with him in person, not just online.
Do we ever know the value of a moment? I have memories, but those memories make me long for more. I loved every moment I spent there. My most favorite day was doing my laundry at his place. He has a small washer and he helped me by washing my laundry. I hung it on the railing of the balcony outside his apartment. After I had hung it all out I stood on that balcony and looked out at the street. I realized I like his country as much as I love him. I saw so many things while I was there, the people really serve others and they do so with a wonderful attitude. The traffic can be crazy, and cars drive randomly, but when they turn around or cut into traffic it is not done with a pissed off attitude, but more as a matter of fact attitude that they need to get where they are going. There are vehicles they call rickshaws, motorized little open cars, they serve as informal taxis. One of the things I saw, that I absolutely loved, was sometimes these rickshaw drivers would park their rickshaws and just socialize with one another. There is a lot of socializing done there, informally, out on the street. I like that. The one thing that was hard for me was the poverty. One day while in a taxi we had slowed down to a stop, there was am elderly man with half of one of his legs gone. He was standing there, with a crutch, begging. As I write this I can feel those emotions I felt when I saw that beggar, tears in my eyes. Somehow it seems so wrong in this world, that people live in wealth when there is suffering for those who do not even have their basic needs met. I wish with all my heart I could make everyone's world good and right, and alleviate their suffering.
My most cherished memories are the moments I spent with him. Listening to and singing music, dancing together, cooking for him. The things I cannot get over is how he served me, not what, but how. I have never had that before. Will there be more moments that become memories, I don't know, I just know those are tucked away in my heart and I cherish them.
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