So not looking forward to my mother's funeral today. Her death has hit me harder than my Grandparents and my Father's. It is one of the hardest things I have had to endure. I worked till 2:30 this morning making her tribute video. Inserting all of the pictures, adding 2 of her favorite songs and watching it to make sure it came out right reinforced in my heart that she is gone. Even though I know and believe her soul is alive in heaven, it is still a difficult weight to bear. But more than my pain and my tears is the desire to honer her. In some ways even though it is painful it is also therapeutic. It is an outlet for my grief.
Sometimes that grief is like an ocean wave washing over me, it crests and there are no words only the welling up of it in my soul. My tears pour forth like a tributary flowing into a river, being carried by a current that is greater and stronger than myself. I give myself over to it until I feel empty.
I know in time things will get better, but for now I must grieve.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0oWn61irGQ
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