Mom

You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. Psalm 139:16
Today came as usual, the sun rose. For the past two days previous I had spent with my mother. Her condition much worsened and the end was drawing near. The hospice nurse told us my mother might rally, but we all knew in our hearts this was not to be.
Erica and I went to see Mom, she was unresponsive, staring at us, yet behind her eyes I could see, even though she was unable to speak. I didn't want to cry in front of her, not wishing to upset her. At one point Erica got tears in her eyes and my mother's eyes scrunched up, inside my chest tears were falling from my heart, I mustered up all the strength I could not to openly weep. I sang my mother a silly song that she had always loved and that we used to sing together. Erica sang to her, caressed her forehead and hugged her. The following day I went directly to my mother's side and stayed until 11:30 p.m. at which point my sister-in-law stayed with her until 2:00 a.m. and her son took over watch at 2. My sister went in again the next morning and then I came over. My sister and I spent the rest of the day by her side and into the evening with my brothers and all our children who came in  at different times. We gathered together as a family surrounding our mother who had always cared for us.  I stayed until 12:30 a.m this morning. So tired I had planned to go to work today then go straight to Mom's side in the early afternoon. It was not to be. I had my plan that when she died I would hold her hand, I wanted to do that even though I dreaded that moment when she would draw her last breath. It is hard to let go. Instead my Mom died early this morning, I was not there. Thankfully my nephew who took over my watch was with her. I felt crushed when I got the phone call, my first thought was that I was suppose to be there. However God's plans are not our plans nor His ways our ways. I accept that and my mother is now free.
I went to her room and hugged her now empty shell one last time. All that is left are the formalities for those of us who are left behind.
My mother's favorite flowers were carnations and this was her favorite song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVNj9Pl-i7I 
My mother has spread her wings and flown away.